Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
