there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
