But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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