She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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