But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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