the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
