We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You ate ashes out of my bong
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
