It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
