Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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