oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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