I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
