I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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