I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
