C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
