I just saw a hot homeless man
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize