But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This house was built for laser tag.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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