i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
