He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
not ubering you a puppy
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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