Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
