she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
