I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
