You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize