she looked like the before picture.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize