I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
soo... how was my night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
