I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
