kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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