I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
