I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
