i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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