The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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