hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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