i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
