I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
