Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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