They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I've blown a few things in my day
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
