I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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