Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
