we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize