Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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