I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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