i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
im on a boat
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