Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My balls are so social today.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
