Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
vagina is talking i cant
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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