we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
