is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
