Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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