dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize