He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
