After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
