Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
