Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
