New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
