It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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