All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
