guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
