oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
