just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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