No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
