I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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