I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
