Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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