I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
