he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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